voicemail

[powerofthegods]

[The default "leave a message after the tone" message plays because someone is from the 1940s and doesn't know anything about cell phones.]

Comments

Anonymous spam

[technetronic]

[Assume he gets texts like these every day.]

[technetronic]

ARE YOU AN UNDER-APPRECIATED NAZI?

DO YOU EVER WISH THAT THE GERMANS HAD WON?

ARE YOU STUCK LIVING IN THE PAST?

WITH TEN EASY PAYMENTS OF $1000000000000 NOW YOU TOO CAN GROW THE FUCK UP YOU LOST MOVE ON ALREADY

[technetronic]

FOR A GOOD TIME CALL FOXY AT XXX-XXXX-XXX

[The number isn't actually Schmidt's, but links to there.]

[technetronic]

MOISTURISE THAT RED SKULL OF YOURS WITH OLAY

[technetronic]

[There is music to go with the lyrics that no matter what is done, will not stop playing.

WHEN CAPTAIN AMERICA THROWS HIS MIGHTY SHIELD,
ALL THOSE WHO CHOSE TO OPPOSE HIS SHIELD MUST YIELD

IF HE'S LED TO FIGHT AND A DUEL IS DUE,
THEN THE RED, WHITE AND BLUE'LL COME THROUGH

WHEN CAPTAIN AMERICA THROWS HIS MIGHTY SHIELD.

[technetronic]

[Then he figures he should get a piece of the action too.]

TONY STARK MAKES YOU FEEL
HE'S A COOL EXEC WITH A HEART OF STEEL.

AS IRON MAN, ALL JETS ABLAZE,
HE'S FIGHTING AND SMITING WITH REPULSOR RAYS!

AMAZING ARMOUR! THAT'S IRON MAN!
A BLAZING POWER! THAT'S IRON MAN!

[technetronic]

[technetronic]

[This plays continuously.]