powerofthegods | voicemail

[Assume he gets texts like these every day.]

ARE YOU AN UNDER-APPRECIATED NAZI?

DO YOU EVER WISH THAT THE GERMANS HAD WON?

ARE YOU STUCK LIVING IN THE PAST?

WITH TEN EASY PAYMENTS OF $1000000000000 NOW YOU TOO CAN GROW THE FUCK UP YOU LOST MOVE ON ALREADY

FOR A GOOD TIME CALL FOXY AT XXX-XXXX-XXX

[The number isn't actually Schmidt's, but links to there.]

MOISTURISE THAT RED SKULL OF YOURS WITH OLAY

[There is music to go with the lyrics that no matter what is done, will not stop playing.

WHEN CAPTAIN AMERICA THROWS HIS MIGHTY SHIELD,
ALL THOSE WHO CHOSE TO OPPOSE HIS SHIELD MUST YIELD

IF HE'S LED TO FIGHT AND A DUEL IS DUE,
THEN THE RED, WHITE AND BLUE'LL COME THROUGH

WHEN CAPTAIN AMERICA THROWS HIS MIGHTY SHIELD.

[Then he figures he should get a piece of the action too.]

TONY STARK MAKES YOU FEEL
HE'S A COOL EXEC WITH A HEART OF STEEL.

AS IRON MAN, ALL JETS ABLAZE,
HE'S FIGHTING AND SMITING WITH REPULSOR RAYS!

AMAZING ARMOUR! THAT'S IRON MAN!
A BLAZING POWER! THAT'S IRON MAN!

[This plays continuously.]

Tsk tsk Mr. Schmidt, I don't appreciate you destroying the lobby of my apartment complex, but at least you relieved me of my boredom for the afternoon. Enjoyed your little altercation with Steve Rogers. Consider me a fan.

Jim Moriarty x.

[He had just entered the warehouse when he got this text. He made his way up the stairs to his office, still aching from the fight and the times Steve had hit him with that damn shield. Schmidt hated that he'd had to run away from it, it only gave Steve more ammunition to use against him later, but he'd had no choice.

He ponders a response to the text, annoyed that anyone had seen what happened. He considered making excuses to keep up his changed man persona, but that he and Steve would continue to be enemies didn't seem to matter much, since Steve would never believe him anyway, so eh could easily pass it off as Steve being deluded and angry with him and him being annoyed by it.

And the last name on the message was interesting, too; he wondered if the man's parents were fans of a certain series of novels, or if this place was really strange enough that fictional characters would appear. Alternate universes, maybe. He could believe that.]

Then I am glad you were entertained. The captain had it coming.

But how well do you know him?

Edited 2012-05-13 18:01 (UTC)

Captain America... He's a legend, you know, even has his own comic book, films, merchandise.

[A few seconds later, another text is received]

I know as much as I need to know. It's amazing the things you can learn through a proper network and the ability to use a computer.

Yes, I am well aware of how he was used as a propaganda tool.

And I suppose you control such a network? Does it tell you many things about Captain Rogers and his group of friends? He insists on continuing to get in the way of everything I want to do.

Control? Well, not exactly.

Not yet.

Haven't been in Somarium that long. I keep my eyes open, Mr. Schmidt. I see what happens in the city, I watch all of the dreams, all of the videos, tap into everything resource available to me. Technology is a wonderful thing, tells me everything I want to know.

But I'm bored, so very bored, because Somarium is dull. There was a fleeting moment of excitement upon learning about the residents of this place... vampires, superheroes, talking ponies, filled with so much potential but they're all as dull and boring as the people in London. But you and your little display in my lobby, how could I pass that up? I do love a good show.

Such a network would be useful to anyone with plans for this place. What do you intend to do with it?

I can promise you that will not be the last time I fight Captain America, he is constantly getting in the way of things. I intend to make Somarium more interesting very soon.

What do I intend to do with it? Hm, that is a good question, but I think I'd rather discuss what you intend to do to make Somarium more interesting. Do tell me, Mr. Schmidt, because I am dying to know.

A fair question, but... How do I know I can trust you?

Without specifics, I plan to earn the trust of the people of this world, so that even Captain America tells everyone I have changed. I wonder if this eventual network of yours would be useful to me.

Oh my, looks like you could use some help, hm? You're in luck because I do need something to occupy my time and, my dear, this is rather interesting.

I'm a specialist, Mr. Schmidt. I assure you that you can trust me.

Perhaps I could, espeically if I can utilize a network such as the one you speak of. It is easy enough for me to achieve certain things, but I would be grateful for any help and anyone who gave it would be rewarded.

A specialist of what, exactly? Understand that I am reluctant to trust others with all my plans, in the past such things did not go well. Maybe if you can prove you will not betray me?

Somebody once described me as a consulting criminal... Brilliant, isn't it? People come crying to me, "Dear Jim, please, will you fix it for me?" And, for the right price, it's done.

I rather like what I do.

Yes, that is brilliant. And would you ask any questions other than what you needed to know to help me? For a price, of course.

[He considers for a moment, he could really use this sort of help... Then he sends another text.]

Next month there will be an investigation, and I wish it to be steered away from me and toward someone who could feasibly take the blame for it. I will, of course, be the one who suggests they investigation. I want people's trust, you understand.

Let it be known, Mr. Schmidt, that nobody will touch me. I don't like getting my hands dirty. It's more fun to sit back and watch, don't you think?

[Jim sits for a moment, scrolling through the recent dreams, texts, videos, looking for anything that may catch his eye before returning his attention to Johann Schmidt.]

I want people's trust, too, you know... But it does make things rather amusing when they fear your name.

Sometimes, other times I prefer to be directly involved, espeically when another, certain person is. Some things are too important to avoid staying in the shadows.

Yes, by the time I am have finished, people will be fearful of me, as they were on Earth.

So, what will you do to help me, then?

You must want the attention, then, for that's the only reason somebody like you would choose to sully their own hands in any criminal matter.

Oh, I love it. Count me in! Tell me what you want me to do, Mr. Schmidt, and how you will compensate me.

[A second text message is sent]

Remember, you are consulting me. I want this little game to be on my terms. What will you do to entertain me?

Perhaps I do. I would rather personally hurt my enemies than ask others to do it for me.

I can pay you, but I suspect you would rather be entertained in exchange for making sure none of this is traced back to me.

But you must understand that I cannot give you every detail. Still, what I am going to do will no doubt entertain you. It will happen next month and once it does, you will know it was me. Especially once I have saved everyone and earned their trust.

[He hoped this would be alright, because just trusting people with all his secrets hadn't worked out very well in the past. At all.]

Edited 2012-05-20 00:22 (UTC)

Mr. Schmidt, I do like a fair amount of monetary compensation for my services. Can't look this good for free, you know. Sadly, the entertainment value just won't pay for Vivienne Westwood and Alexander McQueen.

I don't need every detail. Let me sit back and watch things unfold and I'll get back to you, hm? Sounds like a good plan, don't you think?

[He's not exactly sure what Jim is talking about with those clothing brands, but he can guess the other man likes his luxury.]

I will pay you then, my small company has earned me more than enough money.

Yes, I think that is reasonable.

I'll keep in touch, then. Wonderful chatting with you, my dear.

JM

Roses Are Red,
Violets Are Blue,
Add In White Stars,
And That's The Captain for You!

But Seriously Now,
Enough With The Jokes,
Come Make Peace,
With Two Fine New York Blokes.

We're Meeting At 3,
At the Central Cafe,
Bring Your Wallet,
Because You're Gonna Pay!

So, 3pm, truce talks, I already ordered a club sandwich sooo... thanks in advance.

PS: This is Peter, by the way.
PPS: You should probably wear a hoodie.
PPPS: Yes, uh, Steve is coming. Don't... have a meltdown over what leather trench to wear. You're pretty in all of them. On the inside.
PPPPS: I ordered you a camomile tea because the menu says it's calming.
PPPPPS: ...Soo, yeah. Coming?

[Um, what? No, really. What? Sure, he gets the truce talks part, and the location part, but everything else perplexes him. Is Peter just a giant troll or does he actually believe this stuff about Schmidt's apparently crush on Steve or whatever the hell he was implying? Didn't Peter know they hated each other? A lot?

Why should he wear a hoodie? He isn't gonna wear a hoddie, thanks. Though, considering this is a public place, there will be some consideration taken as to whether or not to wear the mask.

Also wasn't it sort of rude of Peter to just assume Schmidt would pick up the tab? But because this whole thing would no doubt help in his plans, he isn't gonna complain.

After some brief consideration, he decides not to waste any time. he hadn't lied before; he was looking forward to it.]

I am on my way.

SCHMIDT!!

[Um.. what? Why is a child yelling at him?

Oh, hey, he remembers her, he talked to her some when he was still pretending to be a changed man.]

Yes?

WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?! WHY DID YOU KILL HOKUTO?!

[What. Why do people keep finding out about this?]

It was a means to an end. [He's calm in the face of this child yelling at him, strangely enough.] I am surprised Hokuto keeps talking about it. [He figures it had to be her, cos Steve was too nice to go around telling scary stuff to children.]

What end could POSSIBLY come from killing HER?!

Oh, she did not even tell you? Perhaps you should ask Captain Rogers instead, hmm? It was, after all, his fault.

[He honestly hopes she does it. Because, truce or no truce, he'd love to remind Steve of that time.]

Captain Rogers wasn't the one that killed her, YOU were! Don't you dare try to place the blame of your actions on someone else! Or are you a child throwing a fit?

The only child here is you. And if you expect an apology, you are wasting your time.

Captain Rogers failed to save her, he stood there and did nothing. It surprised even me. If you want to know why I killed her, he has your answer. [Yeah, he's not telling you, sorry.]

No, YOU'RE JUST A JERK. [and Mary slams the phone down. Good times, good times.]

[Bane is not going to be too subtle here. He never did care for that. What a waste of time. He will not hide his voice. His curiosity for the man that Crane described peaked his interest.]

I have heard some intriguing things about you.

[Oh, hey, he saw that post Bane made a while ago, so now he's going to go check it out again.]

Have you? What have you heard, and from whom?

[Enjoy the read, Schmidt.]

The who in this situation is irrelevant. The information I acquired is more important. I have no intention of releasing what I know about you. I would much prefer to see what I can do to be a part of it so to speak.

You might find we have something in common no matter how minor our similarities might be.

[He considers.] There are a great many people in this place who know what my true purpose is, but less know my plans, so perhaps I can guess who told you. [Crane, maybe? Or one of his goons who thought it'd be helpful. Connors, perhaps? He isn't sure, but it sounds like Bane isn't going to tell him.

Still, it doesn't sound like Bane is going to talk, and Schmidt hopes it stays that way, since it'd ruin the truce with Steve otherwise. And that was too early.] But what might we have in common, then? You are proposing an alliance, yes?

Would it do any good to know how I came about information on you? As I said, I will not disclose anything to anybody. I have far more to gain out of this by just letting it happen without interruption.

[He waves his hand a bit. Even without a video, he often gestures for himself.]

Yes. I suppose I am. An alliance would be beneficial to all parties. You get to finish your work and I get to do what I do best.

Edited 2013-05-17 07:01 (UTC)

Dear Big Red,

Sad attempt at the bank today. I mean, seriously? The Lizard and a lady? It was like a bad Godzilla remake.

PS, like, way to be obvious. They were there for your stuff. You really thought no one was gonna stop them, no one was going to get that memo?

1. Letting Connors out? Ex-nay on the truce, hey.

2. Stealing from the police station? That's like two-bit, side-villain stuff. Are you going to start stealing purses and growing a moustache to twiddle next?

Don't think that we can't police you. We can. I think Captain Rodgers has pretty much proved that, what with just outright embarrassing you time after time.

If not, maybe I'll have to prove it, by letting the guys know about the base you haven't told anyone about.

[He's a Spider, do you really think he couldn't follow you, get into places in stealth mode? That he hadn't, after you messed with his brand of baddie, from his home world? Nope.

Please, Schmidt. You're not as CSI as you think.]

So here's your Friendly First Time Warning:

Leave Connors alone. Drop the pathetic 'rawr I'm bad' act. Take up knitting.

Or next time, you'll be the one we're sending back to jail with a bow attached. Promise.

Now go enjoy that balmy summer weather. Try not to get too sunburnt!

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[TEXT] - You're finally invited to a party, Schmidt!

[TEXT] - lol Peter, you're hilarious.

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[Backdated to after the attempted robbery--] {{{TEXT}}}